In Memory of my Mother

I want to share with you something very personal.
Not that all my other articles haven't been personal, but this comes from my heart. This is about a woman who has been an integral part of my life for over 50 years, my mother. Mama passed away peacefully on the 27th of October, after a four-year battle with cancer.

In everyone's life there are people of influence. People who impact our lives to make us what we are, or rather, who influence us to make the decisions that make us who and what we are.
For me, one of those people is the person whose life I celebrate here today in this article.

Ann Buma Bruining left an amazingly rich heritage for this world; her 8 children. She was a mother who cared for her children, who loved them, who believed in them, who inspired them, and who prayed for them, every day.  Not a faultless, flawless woman who never made mistakes, but a fragile, passionate, determined woman who, with the aid of an incredible husband raised 7 amazing kids... and me.

This is my Mama's testimony.

As I said, Mama was a mother of 8. Let me introduce my family from the eldest:

Olaf: a husband, father of 6, grandfather of 7. A teacher like his own father, passionate about the things of God, and always eager to make a difference in people's lives. He has had influence in our communities not only through his profession as guidance officer and teacher, but also through Christian radio and in leadership in the church.

Cees: also husband and a father of 3. From a very early age he wanted to become a doctor of medicine so that he could use his skills in the mission fields all over the world. He has done that very successfully, having worked with YWAM, and on Mercy Ships, and more recently with Joint Therapy Outreach, he travels overseas regularly to use his doctoring skills in countries where medical services are scarce and unaffordable . Also trained in theological studies, he has and continues to make peoples' lives better; giving them hope, addressing their needs both physically as well as emotionally and spiritually.

Christina: wife, mother of 4, grandmother and major support to many mums out there who have been blessed by her skills as a Nursing Midwife. Taking hold of her own struggles in her battle with breast cancer, she has strapped on a determination to be a greater help to those who are also struggling with life threatening illness by adding to her skills counselling and Bible college training.

Karin: mother of 3, wife, and one determined lady, driven with the sole purpose of making a difference in people's lives, she is an academic who has used her skills in schools and universities.
Level headed, strong willed, her determination has raised her to excel to levels beyond where most of us could only imagine.

Ilse: mother of 3, and grandmother of 3. Despite the odds, and the many curve-balls that life has thrown her, she too makes a difference in people's lives.

Annechiena: wife, mother of 3, and carer of our mother in her final years. How can we ever thank you enough for what you have done for our mama? Juggling her care with a career in the classroom, as well as running your home and the many church activities that you have been involved with over the years. All due to a passion and a calling to make a difference and to be the answer.

And Barbara: Our other missionary sibling. Beautiful wife, Not yet a mother, and yet an adopted mother to the many children, hundreds, if not thousands whom you have made it your purpose to introduce to Jesus and a better life. Barbara and her husband Lukas spent years touring nationally and internationally doing children's out reaches and  mission work. What a calling, what a heritage.

Oh, and then there's me. I, too have made it my purpose to be a blessing to people that I come across, and to make a difference in people's lives. I have had the privilege of being a worship leader, musician and recording artist. More recently I am co-producer of the Worship Leaders Podcast, a weekly podcast that reaches thousands all over the world. I boast an amazing family of 4 children, 2 grand children and 2 more on the way. Wonderful, mature young people who love The Lord with a passion, and serve Him in their own churches as Worship leaders, and wherever the opportunity arises.

We all spend our lives looking for acceptance and approval; especially from our parents. And at times all in my family found it difficult to gain that approval from our Mama, and yet I know that she was immensely proud of us all. She was proud of what we have achieved in marriage, with family, our careers and our various ministries. In her eyes, we all gave her something to be proud of and to boast about.

As I was reminiscing over what write here, my thoughts took me back to memories of our childhood.

I remember the near fatal car accident that Mama and Papa had after our youngest sister Barbara was born. I remember our local neighbours coming and farming us out to various families in our local community while Mama and Papa recovered in the hospital. The accident had left our father in a coma, and Mama with serious internal injuries. It was 4 weeks or more before they were well enough to come home. Barbara was so young that they kept her in with Mama so she could feed her.

I remember trips to Haamstede, a small farming village in the south of Holland, to go camping. All of us cramped into that blue station wagon, with some of us having to take it in turn to sit right in the back of the wagon. And there was no such thing as third row seating back then. There we were, stuck in the back squashed in amongst the luggage. I also remember us fighting over whose turn it was to sit in the back, and no one wanted to do that uncomfortable trip, and one day refusing and causing such a fuss that Mama in her anger yelled and said that she would travel to Haamstede in the back of the car.  It was not long after that that Mama and Papa bought a Daf (a small Dutch built car) to alleviate the passenger congestion.

I remember some of our adventures camping. Going into the WW2 bunkers, me climbing trees and falling out and having to be carted to the hospital, Christina falling into a thicket of stinging nettles, wearing nothing but a bikini, and Mama was there for us, tending to us.

I remember building a trailer for my bicycle because I was going to ride to Albany some 400 km away, just for something to do, and Mama cleverly came up with an idea to send me to a Scripture Union canoeing camp instead (What was I thinking???).

Whenever we got into trouble, mama was there, usually with the wooden spoon. She was a great believer in that scripture in Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

I can honestly say my mother loved me very much!

I suffer from confused personality. My family constantly confuses me for someone else. Brother Cees almost only ever calls me Cameron (his son), the other day Olaf was calling me Zac (his son), and after Papa died, and Mama would come to Queensland we would go somewhere in the car I would get the sudden hand on the leg and the "Pas op Cor!" (Cor was my father's name).

I spoke earlier of our struggle to gain acceptance. One of the most memorable moments of my life was when Mama and Papa drove up to Lake Leschenaultia, north of Perth, where I was living and working after I finished high school. They sprung a surprise visit on me and brought with them my high school results. It is one of the first times I remember Mama and Papa saying they were proud of me. It was something I never forgot.

A survivor of World War II Holland, Mama lived a life full of challenges, and she was human enough and normal enough to struggle with them. Simply put, she wore her emotions on her sleeve, and everybody at some time got a taste of it. She struggled a little with the finer attributes of diplomacy and couldn't suffer fools, or for that matter anyone who she perceived was trying to have a go at her or just didn't understand her. And, rather than try to reason with someone, she simply told them what she thought of them and storm off... And later on she would regret it.

When she was just 53, she suffered the loss of the love of her life to cancer. This happening, and at such an early age, I think was one of the single most difficult traumas she had to face. It shook her world, as it did ours. He was her rock, and her balance. But, to her credit, and with the incredible help of my beautiful family over in Perth, especially Barbara who put her own life on hold to be with her, she was able  to move on with her life.

She told me that God had been good to her over the years, and she wanted to do something for Him. So she went on a number of mission trips, smuggling bibles into China, and visiting churches in Burma. I was pretty proud of my mother for undertaking such adventures at this time of her life and on her own. She too, wanted to make a difference.

Mama loved to travel. When Papa was alive, they travelled everywhere together, and in later life she undertook many trips back to Holland and other places. Sometimes on her own, many times with others in tow.

She also travelled to Queensland many times to visit us. Sometimes these were good visits, other times we were relieved to take her back to the airport. Our children though, loved their Oma, and they were always sad to see her go.. When our kids were little, whenever they saw a plane up in the sky they would stop and wave and yell at the top of their voices "Bye Oma !" They always associated aeroplanes with the comings and goings of their Oma, and I share with you the deep sadness that our 2 as yet unborn grandchildren will not get to meet the Grand Old Lady who has headed up the clan.

Mama was a fierce woman, who was not to be messed with, as we witnessed once when we were on the Gold Coast at a bird park, and when it came time to feed the birds, our kids were there ready to feed the birds when all of a sudden, out of nowhere a bus load of tourists appeared and started to crowd out our little ones. Well, Mama was having none of that, and like a sumo wrestler, she firmly planted her feet apart on the ground, behind the kids and warded off the newcomers,  elbowing them whenever they got anywhere near her grandchildren!

Mama knew what awaited her in death. She knew where she was going, and I remember after that major operation in late December 2009, we were able to go in to be with her in the ICU. We sang the Christmas hymn "O Holy Night" to her, and later when she came out of the ICU she told us that she was aware of our singing and thought she was in the presence of the angels. That's why the first words she spoke when she finally came out of her induced coma was "I am alive? Praise Jesus!"

Mama also had a great sense of humour and mischief, as we witnessed many times with the surprise visits, late-night arrivals for special occasions such as birthdays, sneaking in with the aid of my own wife and children to make it all the way across Australia just for us.

And who can ever forget the countless poses for photos with the traditional finger up someone else's nose, or that famous photo at camp Buma when we all posed for that funny photo and Mama had taken her wig off and held it high in the air!

She loved her Husband, she loved her children, she loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren, and she loved her Saviour Jesus. I'm sorry she's gone, but I'm glad she's graduated. She didn't deserve to suffer, and fortunately she didn't suffer long. On October 27, 2013 after a 4 year battle with a rare form of cancer, Mama went home to be with Jesus.
The world may not know her, but the world is a better place because of her.

Proverbs 13:22 says

A good man ( or in this case woman) leaves an inheritance for his children’s children.

Proverbs 31:27-31

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

And right now we hear the voice of God saying "Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into your rest."

There is so much more I could say; of cups of teas from porcelain cups, of puzzles on a rainy day, of adventurous picnics on hot a summer's day, of road trips to remote places.. I could go on, but time will not permit. So I will close with my children's words as she takes her final flight on the wings of the angels:
Bye Oma!

Erick.

Better Husband, Better Dad..

For Peter.

I was talking with my son in law recently and the subject came up;" I don't know if I am doing everything I can to be a good dad.. "

It got me thinking about my own journey through fatherhood  I sometimes wonder: however did I make it to this place? I have 4 incredibly wonderful children who have all grown up into amazing adults who in their own rights are making a real difference in this world and in the lives of others.  I really am blessed.

Over the years, my wifeTambrey and I have on numerous occasions been complimented on our children and what a great family we are. While that is a great head-swelling statement, the reality is that we have never really known any different. What you see is who we are. We have

nothing to hide, we aren't any different at home to what you see at church or out in public. And, to us, we are far from perfect. 

We have our fights and arguments, our differences of opinion. In our eyes we are just an ordinary family. So it's kind of funny when so many people tell us we are different. This leads us as a couple to think; what could it be that makes us different to other families? How can we through our own experience of life encourage others to be different, and that what we have is not freakish or unattainable?

My heart has always been about family. In my life, family comes first and foremost. I purpose in my heart to make them the number one priority in my life. This is a decision, it is not something that

comes natural or even easy. The nature of a man is very much self-focused. I want what I want, and I know what I want, and all too often it doesn't include my wife or kids. The selfish me wants to go out and hang with my mates when it suits me. The selfish me doesn't want to be tidy, wash up the dishes because they are there to be done. The selfish me can justify coming home after a long day at work and sitting down in the lounge chair, watch the tv and  waiting for dinner while my wife is trying to keep it all together with little ones making demands of her, others wanting help with homework, still others looking for clothes to go out in, and dinner on the go all at the same time.

If I want a great family, it requires investment on my part. Just in the same way that if I want to succeed in my business I have to be prepared to put in the hard yards.

So what is it that I want to say to my sons in law and my own son about how to succeed in life and have a great family? How can I cram 30 years of experience into a short article? I probably can't, but I can share with you some keys that I  have learnt along the journey.

I took a call from an overseas friend the other day who told me he was having some challenges with his 10 year old being a bit obstinate and unreasonable. He was giving his parents a hard time and most likely

his siblings as well. I suggested to him that maybe his boy was trying to attract his attention. There may be  something going on in his world that he was having trouble coping with.

I gave him the following pointers that might help him help his son overcome the challenges that are facing him.

1) If you want to show your child you love them, love their mother

Nothing gives a child stability in life like knowing that their parents love each other. I have even found in business that the most stable bosses I have worked for are those that have a great marriage.

I have to put her first in my list of priorities. The old saying goes: Happy wife, happy  life. For me, that means that as part of the marriage relationship I have to pull my weight. In my home, I make the bed, make breakfast, empty the dishwasher, and clean up my mess in the bedroom. I learnt a long time ago that my wife is neither my slave nor my mother, and I should not expect her to clean up after me or do everything for me. 

I also help with the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. We are a partnership and my wife does enough around the house. The least I can do is help her and be an example to my children of how to be a good husband. I tell my wife every day that I love her. I tell her often, and I tell her meaningfully. I tell her for 2 reasons: I tell her to remind her, and I tell her to remind myself. Do I have to remind myself every day? Well, I have to eat every day...

Moreover, I tell my children I love them as well, every day, or at every opportunity.

2) Be prepared to do your bit.

 I mentioned before, marriage is a partnership, and it takes both partners to work hard to make the partnership a success. I don't expect her to mow the lawn or take out the rubbish. There are things

my wife does better than me. She knows better how to do the washing and hanging out. That doesn't mean I can't do it, and it's not unusual for me to iron my clothes or hang out or bring in a load of washing.

People think that marriage is a 2 way street, a 50/50 relationship with 50% give and 50% take. That is not God's way. He is about 100% giving, expecting nothing in return. That is God's way of loving, and

when both partners in the marriage relationship adopt this motto, your marriage is headed for a lifetime of great adventure and success.

3) Be consistent.

When it comes to discipline it is important that both parents agree. My wife always made it a point to never disagree on matters of discipline or decision in front of the kids. I would hear about it in the bathroom though!  There is this saying that goes: "If mum says no, ask dad". That doesn't work in my family. If I disagree about a

decision, we will talk about it in private, and if we then agree on a common decision, we would go to the child. Also worth a mention here is: Don't say no just because you can. It is important to communicate with your child why you have made the decision you made. They may not like it or even like you, but they will know the reason why. And "because I said" is not a valid reason.

4) Princes and princesses.

I treat my wife like a princess. (Or at least I'd like to think I do). My wife is royalty, and I expect my children to treat her the same way. I have never allowed my children to get away with speaking down to my wife or treating her rudely. In telling them my expectation of having them treat her like a princess, I am teaching my daughters that their prospective husbands must also treat them like royalty. I am telling my son that the woman he marries he must treat like royalty. I like to think that I treat my daughters like royalty. The way a man treats her wife, and the way a woman treats her husband sets the framework for how their children will treat their spouse in years to come. We do not have to be the result of our upbringing, we can change

what we came out of. If my daughter marries a man from a dysfunctional background that does not mean she is doomed to a bad marriage. It is my privilege to be a positive influence on him and allow him to see

that there is a better way.

5) Quality Time.

I have a wife,  3 daughters, 1 son. Each of them have different likes, needs, desires and dreams. I found especially when the kids were younger every now and then it was important to take them out on a date. The girls loved the Papa dates. We would go somewhere to eat, buy some clothes, and hang together. As they got older my wife would take them for coffee on a Saturday morning, somewhere nice. Recognising their individuality and acknowledging it is very important to a person. My son and I love doing life together. When he was about 14 he came to me and asked me if I could teach him how to be a man. We do man stuff together, and I can honestly say that I couldn't be more proud of how he has turned out. Quality time is when we can be driving 1000km to somewhere and spending time talking, sharing, laughing together with the opportunity to speak into his life. I love those times. And, by the way, I love doing the same with my sons-in-law, who I refer to as my boys.

My beautiful wife also needs quality time. Infact this is her number one love language. There is nothing she loves better than just being together, whether it is in front of the tv, holding hands, cuddling or going on a road trip together to anywhere. For her it's not about how much money I can spend on her, it's about how much time we can have together.

I am blessed. I started out with 3 daughters and one son. I now have 3 daughters, 3 sons, and 2 grand children. God is good!

6) Words of affirmation and celebrate success.

Everyone wants and needs to be acknowledged for a job well done. I love being paid for the work I do, but I glow when the boss says "Well done!"

Peter and Lachlan are my amazing sons in law. When Peter got his first appointment after finishing his Uni degree, I piled my wife and daughter and son in the car after work and drove one and a half hours to the town they are living and took the whole family out for dinner to celebrate. Then we drove home again. Some months later when Lachlan got his job after finishing his degree we did the same thing again.

They were both stoked that we would go to such an extent to help them celebrate their achievement. To me, I was stoked at what they achieved and wanted them to know how proud I am of them. I often tell my wife and kids I'm proud of them. I want them to know that I value the effort they put into life. The result? It builds

them, and encourages them to do even better.

7) Be honest.

It's important to be honest with other, to have an open book policy in the home. In our family we really don't have any secrets from each other. Not the important stuff, anyway. If my children got into trouble at school, (on the rare occasion ) they would usually blurt it out to their mother as soon as they opened the door. My kids have always shared every thing with us, but we also have been honest with them it has saved us from a lot of heart ache and trouble. My wife is always an especially good listener, and very slow to judge. The result

was that the kids had not trouble in sharing their feelings or problems because they knew they would find the support they needed to get them through the crisis, whatever it was.

I titled this article better husband, better dad. I want to be both, and I want every husband and father to aspire to both. A past Australian Prime minister once said "Life wasn't meant to be easy". He may have been right, but life was meant to be lived and enjoyed. Jesus said:" I have come to give you life and life to the full."

God wants us to enjoy the fullness of what we have been given. If you want to be a better Husband and a better Father, love, be consistent, be prepared to share the load; Treat your family like royalty, and expect nothing less from them;  spend quality time with your loved ones and give praise when it is due, celebrating every success. Most of all, be honest with each other.

I guess when it's all said and done, the key to being a better husband and a better dad lies in the relationship to have with your loved ones. It's not about a formula or technique, it's about unconditional love and trust.

Do I have all the answers? No! But I do have a relationship with the One who does, and I am constantly in communication with Him, and I am always open to learning how to be a better husband and a better dad.

Have a great week!

Oh, and Happy Father's Day.

Erick

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I often hear the question asked: "Why do bad things happen to good people? "
And for Christians that seems like a fair question. After all, once we are saved, aren't things supposed to go all our way? Shouldn't we be without sickness, prospering financially, never having to worry about another thing?  Unfortunately, even though this is sometimes taught in some churches, this is not scriptural or correct. The fact is; bad things do happen to good people!

My father passed away when I was 24 years old. He had battled cancer for about 4 years when he died. We (my family and many Christians around the world) had prayed and believed for his healing, however it didn't come, at least not in the way we expected it.

I have seen people live through, and die as a result of tragedy, heartache, poverty and sickness and wondered that very question: Why? There are plenty of examples both in scripture and in church history of people who weathered the storms of life. Some never made it out the other side. One great example is the prophet Elisha, who, even though he had a double portion of the anointing of his predecessor Elijah, was not taken up in a horse drawn chariot into heaven. Instead he became ill in his old age and died. (See 2 Kings 13:14).

You only need to think of the faithful thousands who lived (and died) in the many Wars we have witnessed in our history. Many of them innocent civilians who had no choice and no option in the decision or consequences of war.

Every day we are confronted with tragedy, heart ache and disappointment. I have witnessed Godly people taken from this earth or permanently adversely affected as a result of car accidents, plane crashes, cultural violence, religious zeal, the list goes on. And still we ask: Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

This is not a sign of the times. We live in a broken world. The Bible says death is the result of sin; Sickness and disease from our disobedience to God. This is what we are born into...
The apostle Paul, one of God's greatest advocates responsible for 2/3 of the New Testament suffered much at the hands of man and nature. Listen to his sufferings:

Corinthians 11:24-27
"From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness"

And yet his concern was not for himself, but for seeing the good news of the Gospel made available for all people.Did bad things happen to him?

What about Job? His wife told him (Job 2:9-10)

"“Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”
But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips."

Note Job's response? In all this he did not sin with his lips. Did bad happen to Job?

Death, sadness, sickness, tragedy, all these are a part of living in this broken world. I really think to a large extent Christians are not going to be exempt from this. However, there is one major difference between those who walk with The Lord and those who don't.
Paul in his letter to the Philippians gives instructions on how to overcome these trials that come our way:

Philippians 4:4-8
" Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

This doesn't mean we don't acknowledge the bad things when they come to us, but don't stay there... Don't dwell on these things. Often when people are confronted with a terrible tragedy, they can't get over it. They find it difficult to move on. I have seen people become so absorbed in their pain, that they have been incapacitated by it, totally unable to get on with their life, and missing out on the best life has to offer. Their suffering has become the focus of their life. But remember Philippians 4 say?

Joni Eareckson Tada writes in "365 days of Hope":

"My wheelchair is a suffering that came from the sovereign purpose of God. And since that time more than three decades ago, I've also suffered things that have come upon me as a result of being in the kingdom. I have chosen to flee temptation, to drag my body from church to hospital, to endure the scorn of those who don't know God. And I have suffered as a result. Such is the will of God for my life.
The result? The common suffering he comforts. The godly suffering he rewards. And I wouldn't want to exchange either for anything."

At the beginning of this article I talked about the death of my father. As I watched his lifeless body lying there in that casket, I called out to God :"Why? Why did you let him die in this way? Surely he was a good man who loved you, whose children all love you, who didn't do bad things to anyone?"
And as clear as the day came the response from my Heavenly Father: " Son, will you trust Me?"

Finally I leave you with the words of the hymn written by Horatio Spafford, who literally lost everything, finance, business, his home and later his daughters in a terrible shipping accident, and was still able to pen these beautiful words:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Have a great week!
Erick

Praying Together

 

One of my favourite times if the day is breakfast. Not because of the food (although lately I have been enjoying various arrangements of bacon and eggs...)  No, because in my family breakfast time is family time. This is the time when we are all together at the same time in the same place.

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We began the family routine thing many years ago when our eldest daughter Zoey started going to school.  We found out the hard way that waking her up half an hour before catching the bus was no way to to get any of us off to a good start of the day.  I was taught at a young age the importance of starting the day with God, and I knew I needed to instil this same value in my children, so I began the routine of getting our children up earlier each day so that they could be ready and awake enough in plenty of time for their body to receive food; both physical and spiritual. We would all come together at a set time in the morning and enjoy that half hour together over breakfast.
The breakfast table was where a lot of our family fellowship occurred. This is where we not only ate, but we talked. In our family we don't need much encouragement to talk, conversation flows freely, and especially at the meal table. Challenges are addressed, problems solved, victories celebrated and instructions given.

We would end the meal with a devotion, normally picked by my wife, Tambrey; something suitable for the kids to take with them into the day, and then we would pray together. Prayer is something we encouraged our children to participate in, at mornings together at the table as a family, and evenings, one on one with just parents and individually.

The interesting this I have found about praying together is that everyone has a different view of life, and therefore sees and prays from a different perspective. As such, I don't think there is such a thing as a bad prayer, especially when it comes to young ones. Sometimes we need to guide their thoughts and emotions so that they can learn to pray in accordance to the requirements as laid out in scripture. Obviously if my little son or daughter prays that the bully will shrivel up and die, God is not going to grant that prayer, but at that point we can take the time to not only teach them what to pray, but also talk about why the bully is a bully, and maybe address the issues that are going on in his life.

Our children are no longer children. All are adults, some have married and left home, I'm now a grandfather of 2, and the 2 remaining young adults in our home live very different time tables according to study, social and church commitments. But one thing we all still have in common, is that time around the table. We all pray. And when the occasion requires it, we pray together.

Tambrey and I pray pray together every day still. It has been our routine since before we were married nearly 30 years ago. What I love particularly about when she prays is how incredibly specific she is in her prayer. She details people, situations and circumstances and prays them through. I sit with her, we hold hands and agree in prayer, together. We have witnessed many prayers answered over the years and give God the glory for each one.  And we are greatly encouraged to see that the habit of corporate prayer has been taken into our young people's families and they too are making it a daily practice.

The bible says in Psalms 133:

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brethren to dwell together in unity!
It is like the precious oil upon the head,
Running down on the beard,
The beard of Aaron,
Running down on the edge of his garments.
It is like the dew of Hermon,
Descending upon the mountains of Zion;
For there the Lord commanded the blessing—
Life forevermore."

And in 2 Chronicles 7:14

"If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

And in: Matthew 18:18-20

“ Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
“ Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.”

Shall we pray? Together?
Have a great week!
Erick

“I Wouldn’t Miss It For The World!”

Memories of John, a friend with Parkinson's Disease.


I have been living in my current home for about 15 years. I love our home, it is a lovely house set in a quiet neighbourhood on top of a small rise. We are surrounded by a number of rental houses in our street and the occupants rarely last more than a year. But across the
road is Petra, a sprightly single lady of sixty-something and next door to us on the left lives Thelma. Her husband John just passed away recently.  I'm really going to miss John.
I moved in next to John and Thelma with my family about 15 years ago. We had 4 children at various stages of little and had moved to the area to be closer to school and church. When we first applied to rent our home, we were told we could only drive past but not look inside, as the
present tenants haven't moved out yet. Ok, so we drove past very slowly and as we did, a man came out carrying a box to his car. I greeted him and told him we were thinking about applying for the rental and would he mind if I had a quick look around? He invited me in and said "go ahead" and kept loading the boxes into his car. I wandered through the house and into the back yard. The house was perfect and I walked back to our car, stuck my head in the window and declared:" Honey, I have found our new home!"
A few days later we moved in.
Our next door neighbours were a retired couple who kept pretty much to themselves. Husband John loved to work with wood and often had his garage door open and the smell of freshly worked timber like Camphor Laurel would come wafting down the street. As I walked past, I shouted: “G’day! How are you going?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Came the chirpy reply. It was a statement that would identify John for me for the rest of my life.
PARKINSONS

John suffered from Parkinson's disease; though you wouldn't know it. Parkinson’s is a degenerative disorder of the central nervous system which most commonly affects people over 50. The most obvious symptoms include uncontrollable shaking of the limbs.   This retired mechanic was anything but retired. As well as his love for timber,(he had lots
of wood working tools, including a lathe, and there was a lot of bits of wood suspended from all sorts of places) he was also a passionate painter and fisherman. His back yard was immaculate and he had a 5 hole putting green embedded in his lawn. John also taught painting at the University of the 3rd Age, a place where mature age students (usually retired) can go and learn skills they never knew they had.
To look at John, you would never know that he had Parkinson's.  He certainly didn't let it stop him doing anything. Thelma, his wife, made it her business to know everything there was to know about the disease. She accompanied John to every doctor's appointment, researched the disease, the treatment drugs and their possible side-effects. If there was a support group, Thelma went along. If there was an article in a paper or magazine, she would not only read it, but if important enough, she would cut it out and keep it.  Thelma is so knowledgeable about the disease that in later years when John went
into respite on the occasion, she would often need to educate the nursing staff on the regime of medication John took, and the idiosyncrasies of the disease. Thelma made it her job to make life as normal and as liveable as possible for John. She could alter the doses of his medication depending on his level of activity, the weather, all sorts of things.
As the years wore on, the disease progressed. There is no turning back with Parkinson's, no known cure. There are operations one can have to prolong normality and quality of life, and drugs to help stop the shakes and other impacts of the disease, but once you have it, you
will die with it, and most likely from complications of it.
 

For Better, For worse…

What I loved about this couple was their commitment to each other, and their tenacity to see this thing through to its end. I once asked Thelma if it wouldn't be easier to put John into permanent care? She replied: "When I married John, I stood before the minister and made a promise; for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. I intend to keep that promise.  And besides, this disease is so varied from day to day, that a nursing home would not be able to look after him the way I do. We have had our 'for better and in health' years, now it's time to do the other."
As for John, I never saw that man without a positive attitude and a
kind word. "I wouldn't miss it for the World!"

Over the years as the disease started to take over his body, John became more and more reliant on a wheel chair. But try keeping an active man down! At every opportunity he would climb out of it, and be
out in the garage, fiddling with something or heading for the lawn locker to get the mower out or grabbing the golf clubs to have a hit around the yard. Inevitably he would run out of puff, and on the occasion he would lose balance and fall. Thelma had learned techniques of how to use balance and cantilever to get him back up. These same techniques she taught me to use on him.   Sometimes he would fall awkwardly or heavily or end up in a place where it was impossible for Thelma to help him. She would wonder out to the front door or over the back fence: "Erick, can you help? John's had a fall and I can't get him up." I would go over and rescue John from his temporary place of
rest. John would joke about it, and make light of the situation. Never did I see him lose his temper, or become angry, he was always thankful for the hand up. I rescued John from all sorts of obscure places; he once crashed through his side fence; I picked him up a couple of times out of his workshop; and I remember once being called to pick him up after he had fallen out of his bed and with the bad shakes he had got himself wedged between the bed and a lifting frame designed to help him in and out of his bed.
I often wondered if he felt the frustration of it all, but he never showed it. It was almost as if he had the attitude of "there is someone out there worse off than me" and that kept him going.
I never saw John complain, and though I know life was often a struggle for Thelma, she never gave up on her resolve to see this thing through right to its inevitable end, and right by her Husband's side.
Towards the end of John's life, my rescue visits became more frequent. I made sure that Thelma had my mobile phone number and kept it by my bed at all times. I told her that no matter what time of day or night, if I was available I would be over to help.
 

A Lifetime of Memories.

I loved visiting with John and Thelma. They always had a story to tell, and the time to tell it. They would talk about the adventures they had had together, raising their 4 children, their time travelling across Australia on holidays, the old days living and working in Toowoomba, of speed boats and skiing, this couple had had a great life together and created many good memories. We would sit and chat, sometimes for hours until the call came over the fence or one of my kids would come to the door: "Papa, mama said it's dinner time".
Of Cars and Boats and Fishing
John's love for cars never failed him. I remember one time when I had bought a brand new car, I offered to take him for a spin in it. We piled him in and took him for a ride. He stroked the dash and the door: "Magnificent," he said, "what a machine." He was truly impressed.  On a couple of occasions I had the opportunity to take him out and let Thelma have a break. I took him fishing, I took Him to a car show, all the things he loved. At the car show, Thelma had
insisted I take the wheel chair, but once out of the car, John was determined to walk. I just walked beside him, pushing the empty wheelchair.
The last year of his life was, of course, the most difficult for both John and Thelma. The disease was taking its toll and adversely affecting both their health. As john became less able to control the dyskinesia, Thelma struggled more and more to help him. Thelma is a lady of small frame, and John who was much taller and heavier became more deadweight. This had its toll on Thelma and her health suffered as she struggled to maintain the level of care required to keep John at home. She did have home care help with people coming to help with
showering and dressing as well as therapy. And yet still the determination and commitment to fulfil the wedding vows was there. The last time I saw John was a few weeks before he went into full time care. Thelma was no longer able to give John the level of care that the now fully advanced disease had required. I had picked him up after yet another awkward fall, and spent some time with him chatting. This time both John and Thelma looked worn out. Neither of these people complained about the situation they were in, but the inevitable was coming; John had to go into care.
Wouldn’t Miss it for the World
John passed away peacefully just a short time after being admitted to the care facility. For me it was a day of mixed emotions. I was deeply saddened at the loss of this neighbour who I was proud to call my friend. At the same time I was glad that John was finally truly at rest.
Thelma continues to live next door, her children are visiting regularly to make sure she is ok, and for those of us left behind, life goes on.
I will miss John. I will miss his cheerful, positive attitude, his stories, his adventures, his chats at the dining room table.

"I wouldn't miss it for the World!"
The world will miss you.
Goodbye John.
See you on the other side.
Erick. November 2012

When Hands Are Raised

 

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As a worship leader there is no greater satisfaction for me than to see hands raised in surrender and worship to the Lord.  The raising of hands in worship has at times and in different churches been somewhat controversial for all sorts of reasons; and most of them wrong.

Some would say it is showy and we should not make and outward show of our inward worship. A scripture used may be this from Matthew 6:18 :

" ...so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. "

Sometimes our conservative culture is the reason we "exercise self control and show restraint in these matters"....

Jesus talked often about doing things in secret, but when it comes to corporate praise and worship, I believe it is a totally different thing. As the word suggests, Corporate is something we do together.

In my experience there are 3 main reasons why people raise their hands in church during worship (other than at the urging of the worship leader)

EXALTATION

The first is in jubilation and celebration.

Psalms 111:1 " Praise the Lord!
I will praise the Lord with my whole heart,
In the assembly of the upright and in the congregation."

With my whole heart. That would indicate with every effort I can muster.
The Hebrew word for praise here is 'Yadah' The translation for this word praise is: literally, to use (i.e. hold out) the hand; physically, to throw (a stone, an arrow) at or away; especially to revere or worship (with extended hands); "
In Psalm 150 we read these words:

"Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty firmament!
Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!
Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;
Praise Him with the lute and harp!
Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!"

The word for praise here is 'Halal ' (from which we derive the word hallelujah. Halal means praise, Yah is God. )
Halal means:  to make a show, to boast; and thus to be (clamorously) foolish; to rave; causatively, to celebrate; also to stultify: — (make) boast (self), celebrate, commend, (deal, make), fool(-ish, -ly), glory, give (light), be (make, feign self) mad (against), give in marriage, (sing, be worthy of) praise, rage, renowned," ...you get the idea.
When we praise God it involves an outward manifestation of joy, celebration and great noise, and the raising of hands...

ADORATION

The second reason we raise our hands is in Adoration. It is when we have such absolute love for our saviour, we just want to be closer to Him.
One of my favourite memories of when I was a young father of small children, is coming home from work in the afternoon. I would drive up our driveway and beep the horn. The next thing Tambrey would open the front door and all the kids would come piling out and run to the car to see who could get there fastest for me to pick them up. Those kids adored their father!
That's what it's  like:  when a small child raises its hands to its parent looking to be picked up, held and cuddled. It's very relational and intimate.  When I raise my hands to God in this way, it's like I want to be close to Him; to hug and love Him, to hear Him whisper in my ear: "I love you, son!"

Psalms 63:4. "Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name."
Psalms 134:2. "Lift up your hands in the sanctuary,
And bless the Lord."

SURRENDER

When you watch a war-time movie or a Wild Western, what is the term used when a surrender is forcibly demanded? "Stick 'em up! "; "Hands up". When the white flag of surrender is raised, and those that are surrendering have their hands raised as the "I give up" symbol.
The raising of hands is commonly associated with surrender. Christians who raise their hands will often do the same for the same reason, but with one difference: when I raise my hands in surrender to God, it's not because I have a gun at my head. My surrender to God in worship is out of love and total commitment.  I have a mental picture of surrender in which I am down on my knees, with my hands raised before a crucified Christ. I want to be surrendered to the One who surrendered everything for me and gave up His life so I could live... I surrender.

Exultation, Adoration, Surrender.
All three motivations for the raising of hands are voluntary responses. All three responses are motivated by love. When hands are raised, I see people connecting with God in an intimate, joyful, exuberant, surrendered display of affection and Worship.

Whether you choose to raise your hands or keep them by your side, is up to you. Whether someone else chooses to or not, should be their decision. Personally, when I am in a place of intimacy with God, I can't help but raise my hands.

Do you raise your hands?

Have a great week.
Erick.

Love God

 

We live in a "What's in it for me?"-world. Our decision making is based on "how does it make me feel?" We look to satisfy our needs, and as long as we are ok, well that's a good start.

As Christians, it seems our faith is often manipulated the same way. Our prayers are based on what we think is best for us and our situation, and our assessment of answered prayer on how it has benefited us. I'm not sure that this is correct thinking.

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The Greatest Commandment

When Jesus was challenged by the Pharisees with the question: "Which is the greatest commandment?" in Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind."

He added to this that second most important commandment was (vs39) :"love your neighbour as yourself". 

The response Jesus gave was not at all what the Pharisees expected, and it left their arguments dead in their tracks. 

See, I like to think that the Pharisees were looking at a legal-if you don’t do it you will go to hell- kind of greatest commandment, whereas Jesus was talking about the most awesome, lose out if you miss it- greatest benefit to those who live it-kind of commandment.

God-thinking turns World-thinking totally on its head. Sometimes embarrassingly so. God-thinking is so at odds with what society teaches and yet it works. Society says: "Look out for number one; if it feels good do it; you deserve this; pamper yourself; you will feel great if..." God wants us to be Christ-centred, others-focussed, totally selfless. He wants us to focus our love on Him.  Love God. 

 

What's in it for me?

This is one of the most selfish, self centred statements ever to pass the lips of men. The conditional premise of doing anything in the community of Christ is often perceived as "if I do this thing, I will get ...in return". 

Giving is the perfect example. Jesus said in Luke 6:38; "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Most people I know (including me) have used this as the secret formula for wealth. I guess in a way it is, but not in the context that we would like it to be. Investing into the Kingdom of God is important. The question is: am I giving to get or am I giving to give?

We need to turn our thinking around and focus on our total motivation for anything we do in life:

I work and in return I get paid. I give to God of my time, talent and finances because I love Him. I know that He is not only able, but also true to His word in looking after me. My attitude to God is relational, one of faith and trust, not a business deal. We cannot out-give God, so don't try. Give out of relational response, because you love Him.

When I think of my relationship with God, I often compare it to my relationship with my own children. I am motivated by my love for them and respond to their relationship with me. When one of them comes to me with open arms and hugs me and tells me they love me, I just want to bless them. (What can I do for you, how can I bless you?) Their love for me invokes an even greater response of love back. I think in a way that this is how it is with God; we obey his commandments because we honour, love and respect our Heavenly Father and He in return blesses us with answered prayer, provision, peace and His presence. 

God’s love for us is manifest all around us. His promises of supply, protection, care, guidance and companionship, are littered generously throughout scripture.

Matthew 6:27-33

Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat? ’ or ‘What shall we drink? ’ or ‘What shall we wear? ’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

 

Surrender & Submission

Loving God is about surrender and submission. I like to think of it this way: When 2 armies are at war, and one surrenders to the other (white flag and all that stuff), normally it is the capturing victorious army that dictates the terms of the surrender. Funny thing about Christianity is we want to do all the surrendering on our own terms: “Well, God, I will give you these parts of my life, but I am going to hang on to this one...” That doesn’t work. Never has, never will. God wants total surrender, not a partial one. Why? Well, for starters, Jesus was willing to give everything He had and everything He was up for you and me. He set the standard of total surrender when He went to the cross. I really think in His own flesh He had some serious reservations about the whole suffering and dying thing. In the garden of Gethsemane He prayed: ... “Let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.”(Matt 26:39) But He was driven to total Surrender to God’s will by His total love for you and me! The other reason I believe God wants all of us in Surrender to Him is because only He knows the plans He has for us, “plans for good and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future” (Jer 29:11), and He can’t bring that to pass if He doesn’t have our total, confident, submitted trust.

2 Chronicles 15:2

“And he went out to meet Asa, and said to him: “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin. The Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.”

When we walk away from God, we leave Him virtually powerless to work in our lives.  

I am realising more and more that relationship is the key to life. When I have great relationship with my wife, things go really well for us. When I focus on doing my own thing, and put her second, our relationship suffers. It is no different in Christianity. God longs for relationship with us. He is looking for ways to bless us. When we stop loving God to pursue other things, we stop His ability to bless. It is like cutting off the line of supply. We are not wired like that. God made us for relationship with Him. Love Him. Today!

Have a great week!

Erick.

Thirty Years On. Life, Marriage, Children

It's been a while since I posted a blog page. I've been busy. I've had a lot on my plate. At my age, you just get busier. I now have grand children in my life. 5 years ago I would not have imagined that I would be sitting here today talking about a grandchild, much less two! But here I am. They are beautiful. A girl and a boy. Mayana and Reuben. We drive up to see them, and then they come to see us.

And so I  keep busy. Last weekend, we drove up to see them.
My Eldest two daughters, both married, both live in the same town. Zoey and Peter are the proud parents of our grandchildren. Bethanie and Lachlan live about 5 minutes from them by car. Zoey and Bethanie are both teachers at the same school (although Zoey is on maternity leave). Peter
Is a teacher at a pre-school and Lachlan is finishing his teaching degree. Having them all living in the same town has definite advantages, both for them and for me. Zoey and Bethanie have become very   close and both couples get together socially regularly.

Tambrey and I miss out on this so we have to travel up to make up the short fall in access place. This is one of the important reasons I run out of time. I love having time with all of my Maryborough mob; family is very important to me, and the fact that they live in the same town means we can visit everyone in one trip.


Our youngest two, Alexie and Jordan, both live at home with us. Alexie is studying Nursing and Jordan is doing a music degree. Both lead interesting and full lives. They are both heavily involved in our church and youth ministry, and volunteer regularly of their time to it each week. Alexie is the unofficial assistant and right-hand to our Youth Pastor, Michelle and the two have become inseparable best friends. She spends two days a week unpaid with Michelle working organising youth programmes and church administration and the like. Alexie and Michelle have become involved in a local High School where they run a mentoring programme for troubled and at-risk teenage girls. This programme has become so successful that the school has asked them to extend the programme to 2 days a week, and open it up to more girls.

Jordan is in classes 5 days a week in an intensive Music degree, the first year of which gives him a dual diploma in music performance and music law. This term his week has been reduced to 4 days and so he too volunteers his time at the church office, helping out wherever they can.


What's with the 30 years?

I titled this blog 30 years on because recently Tambrey and I celebrated the 30th anniversary of our first date.  It was 30 years ago that I took an innocent country girl into the big city, showed her how the other half lived and went to the movies. We saw Chariots of Fire and walked around the city square. I'll never forget seeing those beautiful big blue eyes getting bigger and bigger as we experienced one religious group after another trying to convert us to their way of faith. We had young Christian zealots over in one corner who despised everything the mainstream church stood for saying all was based on pagan philosophy and ritual, Christianised by the early church and nothing to do with true faith. In another corner there was a local youth group doing street witnessing, praying together and singing Choruses accompanied by guitars. And last and most colourful were the Hare Krishna's in full get up complete with tambourines singing and offering peace cookies to all passers by.


For a young country girl whose regular Friday nights only exposed her to the locals pouring out of the pub in various stages of drunk, this was quite a sight, and she was tightly wrapped around my arm as we made our way around. I can say what we have been tightly wrapped around each others arms ever since!


30 years on, we have done much, lived in places where there was no tv and no telephones. We have experienced poverty and homelessness and seen God prove Himself faithful time and again. We have seen our children grow into incredible strong young people of God; independent,  capable, motivated and passionate.  We have never gone without a meal. We have had all our needs met at the times when we needed them met. We have had the privilege of meeting and having fellowship with some of the most amazing people that God ever put on this Earth. We have had the privilege of being an answer to prayer many times and in some of the most surreal situations.
We have walked where no white man has walked (literally). We have been to places that we might only have dreamed of. I have made music to crowds of thousands, and ministered to young people going through difficult times. Tambrey has blessed scores of people that God has put across her path; speaking into their lives, taking them to achieving things they never thought possible.
30 years on as we look back we can see the path that God has taken us on.
It reminds me of that scripture in Jeremiah 29:11.

I know the thoughts I have towards you says the Lord; thoughts of good and not of evil to give you a hope and a future...

And in Proverbs 16:9

A man's heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.

God had and still has great plans for us and if I had known then what I have experienced since, I may not have been so keen to pursue this path. But looking back I have no regrets. We have had no shortage of tough times and situations, but God has brought us through every one. And not just barely but triumphantly. What I can honestly say is that these times, times of trial and triumph have defined us and our family, shaping us into what and who we have become.  And through it all, as the song says, I've learnt to depend upon my God.

The one thing I keep on seeing is the closer we draw to God, the closer He draws to us. He blesses us beyond what we have ever dreamed. And as I look forward to the next 30 years, sharing them with the loves of my life and being introduced to new ones, I pray that together we will continue to grow closer and more dependant on Him. Because that is where the blessing comes from!
Have a great week.