Better Husband, Better Dad..

For Peter.

I was talking with my son in law recently and the subject came up;" I don't know if I am doing everything I can to be a good dad.. "

It got me thinking about my own journey through fatherhood  I sometimes wonder: however did I make it to this place? I have 4 incredibly wonderful children who have all grown up into amazing adults who in their own rights are making a real difference in this world and in the lives of others.  I really am blessed.

Over the years, my wifeTambrey and I have on numerous occasions been complimented on our children and what a great family we are. While that is a great head-swelling statement, the reality is that we have never really known any different. What you see is who we are. We have

nothing to hide, we aren't any different at home to what you see at church or out in public. And, to us, we are far from perfect. 

We have our fights and arguments, our differences of opinion. In our eyes we are just an ordinary family. So it's kind of funny when so many people tell us we are different. This leads us as a couple to think; what could it be that makes us different to other families? How can we through our own experience of life encourage others to be different, and that what we have is not freakish or unattainable?

My heart has always been about family. In my life, family comes first and foremost. I purpose in my heart to make them the number one priority in my life. This is a decision, it is not something that

comes natural or even easy. The nature of a man is very much self-focused. I want what I want, and I know what I want, and all too often it doesn't include my wife or kids. The selfish me wants to go out and hang with my mates when it suits me. The selfish me doesn't want to be tidy, wash up the dishes because they are there to be done. The selfish me can justify coming home after a long day at work and sitting down in the lounge chair, watch the tv and  waiting for dinner while my wife is trying to keep it all together with little ones making demands of her, others wanting help with homework, still others looking for clothes to go out in, and dinner on the go all at the same time.

If I want a great family, it requires investment on my part. Just in the same way that if I want to succeed in my business I have to be prepared to put in the hard yards.

So what is it that I want to say to my sons in law and my own son about how to succeed in life and have a great family? How can I cram 30 years of experience into a short article? I probably can't, but I can share with you some keys that I  have learnt along the journey.

I took a call from an overseas friend the other day who told me he was having some challenges with his 10 year old being a bit obstinate and unreasonable. He was giving his parents a hard time and most likely

his siblings as well. I suggested to him that maybe his boy was trying to attract his attention. There may be  something going on in his world that he was having trouble coping with.

I gave him the following pointers that might help him help his son overcome the challenges that are facing him.

1) If you want to show your child you love them, love their mother

Nothing gives a child stability in life like knowing that their parents love each other. I have even found in business that the most stable bosses I have worked for are those that have a great marriage.

I have to put her first in my list of priorities. The old saying goes: Happy wife, happy  life. For me, that means that as part of the marriage relationship I have to pull my weight. In my home, I make the bed, make breakfast, empty the dishwasher, and clean up my mess in the bedroom. I learnt a long time ago that my wife is neither my slave nor my mother, and I should not expect her to clean up after me or do everything for me. 

I also help with the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. We are a partnership and my wife does enough around the house. The least I can do is help her and be an example to my children of how to be a good husband. I tell my wife every day that I love her. I tell her often, and I tell her meaningfully. I tell her for 2 reasons: I tell her to remind her, and I tell her to remind myself. Do I have to remind myself every day? Well, I have to eat every day...

Moreover, I tell my children I love them as well, every day, or at every opportunity.

2) Be prepared to do your bit.

 I mentioned before, marriage is a partnership, and it takes both partners to work hard to make the partnership a success. I don't expect her to mow the lawn or take out the rubbish. There are things

my wife does better than me. She knows better how to do the washing and hanging out. That doesn't mean I can't do it, and it's not unusual for me to iron my clothes or hang out or bring in a load of washing.

People think that marriage is a 2 way street, a 50/50 relationship with 50% give and 50% take. That is not God's way. He is about 100% giving, expecting nothing in return. That is God's way of loving, and

when both partners in the marriage relationship adopt this motto, your marriage is headed for a lifetime of great adventure and success.

3) Be consistent.

When it comes to discipline it is important that both parents agree. My wife always made it a point to never disagree on matters of discipline or decision in front of the kids. I would hear about it in the bathroom though!  There is this saying that goes: "If mum says no, ask dad". That doesn't work in my family. If I disagree about a

decision, we will talk about it in private, and if we then agree on a common decision, we would go to the child. Also worth a mention here is: Don't say no just because you can. It is important to communicate with your child why you have made the decision you made. They may not like it or even like you, but they will know the reason why. And "because I said" is not a valid reason.

4) Princes and princesses.

I treat my wife like a princess. (Or at least I'd like to think I do). My wife is royalty, and I expect my children to treat her the same way. I have never allowed my children to get away with speaking down to my wife or treating her rudely. In telling them my expectation of having them treat her like a princess, I am teaching my daughters that their prospective husbands must also treat them like royalty. I am telling my son that the woman he marries he must treat like royalty. I like to think that I treat my daughters like royalty. The way a man treats her wife, and the way a woman treats her husband sets the framework for how their children will treat their spouse in years to come. We do not have to be the result of our upbringing, we can change

what we came out of. If my daughter marries a man from a dysfunctional background that does not mean she is doomed to a bad marriage. It is my privilege to be a positive influence on him and allow him to see

that there is a better way.

5) Quality Time.

I have a wife,  3 daughters, 1 son. Each of them have different likes, needs, desires and dreams. I found especially when the kids were younger every now and then it was important to take them out on a date. The girls loved the Papa dates. We would go somewhere to eat, buy some clothes, and hang together. As they got older my wife would take them for coffee on a Saturday morning, somewhere nice. Recognising their individuality and acknowledging it is very important to a person. My son and I love doing life together. When he was about 14 he came to me and asked me if I could teach him how to be a man. We do man stuff together, and I can honestly say that I couldn't be more proud of how he has turned out. Quality time is when we can be driving 1000km to somewhere and spending time talking, sharing, laughing together with the opportunity to speak into his life. I love those times. And, by the way, I love doing the same with my sons-in-law, who I refer to as my boys.

My beautiful wife also needs quality time. Infact this is her number one love language. There is nothing she loves better than just being together, whether it is in front of the tv, holding hands, cuddling or going on a road trip together to anywhere. For her it's not about how much money I can spend on her, it's about how much time we can have together.

I am blessed. I started out with 3 daughters and one son. I now have 3 daughters, 3 sons, and 2 grand children. God is good!

6) Words of affirmation and celebrate success.

Everyone wants and needs to be acknowledged for a job well done. I love being paid for the work I do, but I glow when the boss says "Well done!"

Peter and Lachlan are my amazing sons in law. When Peter got his first appointment after finishing his Uni degree, I piled my wife and daughter and son in the car after work and drove one and a half hours to the town they are living and took the whole family out for dinner to celebrate. Then we drove home again. Some months later when Lachlan got his job after finishing his degree we did the same thing again.

They were both stoked that we would go to such an extent to help them celebrate their achievement. To me, I was stoked at what they achieved and wanted them to know how proud I am of them. I often tell my wife and kids I'm proud of them. I want them to know that I value the effort they put into life. The result? It builds

them, and encourages them to do even better.

7) Be honest.

It's important to be honest with other, to have an open book policy in the home. In our family we really don't have any secrets from each other. Not the important stuff, anyway. If my children got into trouble at school, (on the rare occasion ) they would usually blurt it out to their mother as soon as they opened the door. My kids have always shared every thing with us, but we also have been honest with them it has saved us from a lot of heart ache and trouble. My wife is always an especially good listener, and very slow to judge. The result

was that the kids had not trouble in sharing their feelings or problems because they knew they would find the support they needed to get them through the crisis, whatever it was.

I titled this article better husband, better dad. I want to be both, and I want every husband and father to aspire to both. A past Australian Prime minister once said "Life wasn't meant to be easy". He may have been right, but life was meant to be lived and enjoyed. Jesus said:" I have come to give you life and life to the full."

God wants us to enjoy the fullness of what we have been given. If you want to be a better Husband and a better Father, love, be consistent, be prepared to share the load; Treat your family like royalty, and expect nothing less from them;  spend quality time with your loved ones and give praise when it is due, celebrating every success. Most of all, be honest with each other.

I guess when it's all said and done, the key to being a better husband and a better dad lies in the relationship to have with your loved ones. It's not about a formula or technique, it's about unconditional love and trust.

Do I have all the answers? No! But I do have a relationship with the One who does, and I am constantly in communication with Him, and I am always open to learning how to be a better husband and a better dad.

Have a great week!

Oh, and Happy Father's Day.

Erick

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I often hear the question asked: "Why do bad things happen to good people? "
And for Christians that seems like a fair question. After all, once we are saved, aren't things supposed to go all our way? Shouldn't we be without sickness, prospering financially, never having to worry about another thing?  Unfortunately, even though this is sometimes taught in some churches, this is not scriptural or correct. The fact is; bad things do happen to good people!

My father passed away when I was 24 years old. He had battled cancer for about 4 years when he died. We (my family and many Christians around the world) had prayed and believed for his healing, however it didn't come, at least not in the way we expected it.

I have seen people live through, and die as a result of tragedy, heartache, poverty and sickness and wondered that very question: Why? There are plenty of examples both in scripture and in church history of people who weathered the storms of life. Some never made it out the other side. One great example is the prophet Elisha, who, even though he had a double portion of the anointing of his predecessor Elijah, was not taken up in a horse drawn chariot into heaven. Instead he became ill in his old age and died. (See 2 Kings 13:14).

You only need to think of the faithful thousands who lived (and died) in the many Wars we have witnessed in our history. Many of them innocent civilians who had no choice and no option in the decision or consequences of war.

Every day we are confronted with tragedy, heart ache and disappointment. I have witnessed Godly people taken from this earth or permanently adversely affected as a result of car accidents, plane crashes, cultural violence, religious zeal, the list goes on. And still we ask: Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

This is not a sign of the times. We live in a broken world. The Bible says death is the result of sin; Sickness and disease from our disobedience to God. This is what we are born into...
The apostle Paul, one of God's greatest advocates responsible for 2/3 of the New Testament suffered much at the hands of man and nature. Listen to his sufferings:

Corinthians 11:24-27
"From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness"

And yet his concern was not for himself, but for seeing the good news of the Gospel made available for all people.Did bad things happen to him?

What about Job? His wife told him (Job 2:9-10)

"“Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!”
But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips."

Note Job's response? In all this he did not sin with his lips. Did bad happen to Job?

Death, sadness, sickness, tragedy, all these are a part of living in this broken world. I really think to a large extent Christians are not going to be exempt from this. However, there is one major difference between those who walk with The Lord and those who don't.
Paul in his letter to the Philippians gives instructions on how to overcome these trials that come our way:

Philippians 4:4-8
" Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

This doesn't mean we don't acknowledge the bad things when they come to us, but don't stay there... Don't dwell on these things. Often when people are confronted with a terrible tragedy, they can't get over it. They find it difficult to move on. I have seen people become so absorbed in their pain, that they have been incapacitated by it, totally unable to get on with their life, and missing out on the best life has to offer. Their suffering has become the focus of their life. But remember Philippians 4 say?

Joni Eareckson Tada writes in "365 days of Hope":

"My wheelchair is a suffering that came from the sovereign purpose of God. And since that time more than three decades ago, I've also suffered things that have come upon me as a result of being in the kingdom. I have chosen to flee temptation, to drag my body from church to hospital, to endure the scorn of those who don't know God. And I have suffered as a result. Such is the will of God for my life.
The result? The common suffering he comforts. The godly suffering he rewards. And I wouldn't want to exchange either for anything."

At the beginning of this article I talked about the death of my father. As I watched his lifeless body lying there in that casket, I called out to God :"Why? Why did you let him die in this way? Surely he was a good man who loved you, whose children all love you, who didn't do bad things to anyone?"
And as clear as the day came the response from my Heavenly Father: " Son, will you trust Me?"

Finally I leave you with the words of the hymn written by Horatio Spafford, who literally lost everything, finance, business, his home and later his daughters in a terrible shipping accident, and was still able to pen these beautiful words:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Have a great week!
Erick

Thoughts on Faith

Recently in my daily devotional I came across the title of this article. In it, the writer made an interesting statement that caused me to think about my own faith, the faith of the members of my family,and the faith of those I fellowship with:

"Many people think faith may be a helpful protection in case they need it—like a spare tire for their car. Many turn to faith when facing struggles, but then turn back to something more “reliable” when a crisis passes."

The bible talks about faith a lot.  In fact the New King James Version mentions the word 252 times. For me one the most  important instructions on faith is found in Hebrews 11:6

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

Here is faith in a nutshell.  How can you ask anything of a God you don't believe in? And if you do believe in Him, to what extent? Does He just exist - out there somewhere, scarcely interested in us mere humans? Or will He turn His attention to us,just and only when it suits Him? And what makes us think that He would even consider  us anyway?

But Jesus lays the cards out on the table for all to see.

"I and the Father are one," He declares,"Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest". And: "Believe in Me and you will never die..."

And in Matthew 10:30,31 " But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

All this certainly gives us a clear indication of how God feels about us and the fact that he really does think of us...all of us...individually! And what's more, he wants to have relationship with
us; Not like a man with an aquarium whose fish only come to the face of the tank when they think they are going to get fed.

I had a bit of a think about the different types of faith we 'mere humans' tend to operate in:

Just-in-case faith

This is the type of faith we tuck away for a rainy day. We believe in God- a God; an "up there somewhere-" God who may or may not care or even know I exist. But just in case He really does exist, I'll say I'm a Christian and that way I'll be safe. I'll even have the kids "done" (christened) just in case something goes wrong.  Just incase Faith says: "I'm ok. I'm a good person and I do alright. I don't hurt anyone or steal or cheat and I pay my taxes and donate to charity. If there is a God and a heaven, I'll probably go there when I die.”

Crisis Faith

This is the faith that we call on when things are going pear shaped. Job lost, illness in the family, mounting debt, or even a natural disaster or accident..."God if you are up there, please help me. I
can't do this on my own, I need You."  I have seen leaders of nations get up and call people to prayer; to end droughts, to prevent floods, to help people through earthquakes, fires...
Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with praying for God to intervene, to stretch out His mighty hand and to deal with a difficult situation. In fact I wish it happened more often. What I am talking
about here is the people who turn to God only when these sorts of situations arise.  It's almost like a 'last resort' faith.  I am reminded of a story about a sailor who got washed overboard in a
terrible storm with no chance of getting back on the boat. He called out to God: "Lord, if You're out there, save me and I will dedicate the rest of my life to serving You". Just then a wave picked him up and threw him back on the deck of the boat. He stood up and declared, "Never mind God, it's ok, I'm back on the boat!" Crisis faith is the kind that calls out to God but when answered by Him, it often isn't recognised as being answered by Him.

Mustard seed Faith

This is the kind of Faith Jesus talked about. He calls it mountain moving faith. Mustard seed faith is not about size, but about the potential that comes from it. A small mustard seed has within it all
the DNA to become a tree of significance when planted, cultivated, nurtured, watered, and shielded in its infancy from destruction, the elements and the trampling foot.
I see faith as a resoluteness and a determination to allow God to be God and to have His way in any given situation. I see this faith as the kind of faith that ultimately trusts God in His wisdom to answer my petition in such a way that brings maximum benefit to me. I wrote a song once and a line of it goes like this:
"And when I ask for a blessing that you know will hurt me, then you keep me from it so that I won't fall..."
That is faith. Faith not only says God can, but God will, and God will for me because He loves me.
And when He doesn't, it's not because He isn't listening, but rather because He loves me enough to keep me from myself.

Faith and religiosity

There is a difference between faith and religiosity.
When I look at other religions, I see people motivated mainly by fear. Incense is burned, mantras are repeated countless times, offerings are made, people bow to statues and images of "celestial beings"... Even we westerners do things out of a religious compulsion rather than a
relational faith. People try to earn their salvation by their religious deeds; rosaries, oft repeated mindless prayers, even dietary changes at certain times of the year. We do 'stuff' because we think
it makes us look good, and people will respect us for our religious fervour. People might, but I'm not sure that God does. Romans 12:3 says

"Serve God with Spiritual Gifts, For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith."

Turning to faith

I mentioned before about the mustard seed and its potential. The Bible teaches us that we have all been given a measure of faith.  I see this in the same sense as the mustard seed. What will strengthen that faith and make it grow ultimately depends on what we do with it. Nurturing
and exercising our faith will build it.  Jude exhorts us in Jude 1:20-21:

"But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."

Notice the instruction is to build yourself? Nobody else can do that for you. The faith bank.
The instructions in Jude are quite plain: pray in the Holy Spirit,keep yourself in God's love. Building ourselves up is putting the deposits in our Faith Bank. Other forms of deposit are:

• fellowship
• Prayer
• Study God's Word
• Meditate.  (Josh 1:8) (Ps 1)
• Sing Praise (Ps. 103:1-5)

Building the faith bank is like building a love relationship; The more you put into it, the more you get out of it. The more I nurture my marriage, the more successful our marriage becomes. The more I love my wife, the more she reciprocates that love. It's the same with Faith. The more I get to know God by building my faith bank, the closer and more intimate I become with Him. 
One of my favourite faith building instructions is found in Psalm 1:

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.  He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,that brings forth its fruit in its season,whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish."

We all believe in something. Where is your faith at? Are you praying in faith or are you praying in vain? Is your faith religious or is it relational? Do you have the Mustard seed DNA that will bring you to great faith?
Jesus said "With God all things are possible"
Have a great week.
Erick

Persevere

 

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When times get tough, I'm tempted to give up. There have been a number if times in my "career" as a worship leader I have felt like giving up. Times when the pressure became so great, I thought it would be better if I stepped off the stage and never went back.
I want to relate a couple of these stories here today.

Some years ago my wife, family and I were attending  a large Pentecostal church. I was a worship leader in the church and we were quite settled there. Our church was undergoing leadership changes and our Music Director had stepped down from the role and he and his family were getting ready to move to a different city. All this was fine, except that the person who took over as Music Director seemed to have a problem with me. I don't know that he would have admitted that, but I had the very strong feeling that it was as if he was intimidated by me. Under the previous Music Director there had never been any problem, and he had never tried to put any restrictions on me. Now though, it seemed that the more I did, the less it was appreciated. That was not reflective of the church community, just of our new Music Director. I did not want his job, and I was quite happy to let him take the reigns. What I didn't like was being "reigned in" by someone with much less experience and for no good reason. I had to make a decision for the sake of unity in the department and my own sanity. I stepped down from the music department to allow him the freedom to run it in the way he saw fit. This was not a choice I made out of spite or to show him up, it was purely to give him room.

The problem was I missed being on the stage. I missed being part of a team that was bringing people into the presence of God. When you have a calling and an anointing on your life to do a certain thing, that calling tugs at you relentlessly.

God is good and some time later we were called to be music directors at an Anglican Church.
We had 5 wonderful years at that fellowship.  I had a mandate from the priest to bring that church into a new experience in music. Though I had incredible support both from the priest and the vast majority of the congregation, it was not always easy, and sometimes there were complaints. It is human nature that people are adverse to change, and there were those in our church who did not want to change from the old ways, and the traditional service. We had 2 churches in that place, one ran a traditional service, the other a contemporary one. The fellowship that I was at had the contemporary service. We did a more modern song service, and used more up to date songs... Well, we used songs that were considered modern, but some  were in reality more than 30 years old. It was lovely to bring this congregation into the more up to date songs and a more modern style of music. We did this over a period of time, slowly adding new music and deleting some of the older, less relevant stuff. It was a transition that took probably 3-4 years, though I never got rid of all the old music.

It was a beautiful time for our family and we were blessed to see that congregation grow 3-fold.
Our perseverance had paid off, and by the time God called us into a new church, we left that fellowship richer in their experience of worship. But we also were richer for our experience, having learnt much more about intimacy with God from the beautiful people at that church.

Our next fellowship was back to a Pentecostal church. It is the church where we now have been for the past 4 years. When I arrived at this church I chose to sit in the congregation for a period of 6 months, which I believe is important for any new musician to a church.

Our new church is currently undergoing a major change. Our senior pastor is retiring after more than 20 years in this fellowship. He is a wonderful man who lives God with a passion, and is all about bringing God and people together. At the same time, one of the associate pastors who is also the Music Director has also handed in his resignation. Life as a worship leader under this man has had its challenges, and there have been a number of times when I was ready to go back to my seat in the congregation. However, God has had different plans, and I am still here, And two thirds of the leadership team is going.

This leaves our church in limbo, at least for a little while. The new senior pastor is not due to start work until next year, and this leaves our last member of staff, another Associate Pastor in charge. A beautiful young woman, mother of two with an incredible heart for people and especially young people. She has a big task ahead of her, but I am confident that in God, and with the loving support of her husband, she will not only rise to the occasion, but also shine in it.
And me? Well, as of this week I am the new ‘Music Director’; not a position I chose or applied for, I was asked. I guess God had plans for me all along. Proverbs 3:6 says:

"In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths."

Often we don't know where God is going to take us, but when we are faithful to Him, He is faithful to see us through the most exciting life we could ever imagine; and who would have gained that I would find myself back as Music Director once again!

Perseverance…

When the going gets tough, it is easy to walk away. We don't want to go through the trials and tests if that means we have to suffer or do it tough for a while. A friend of mine told me the other day: Without a test, you don't have a testimony… and God can turn trials into triumphs".
James 1:2-4 says:

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

There are going to be times in your life, (maybe you are in one now) when patience and perseverance are the order of the day, week or month. My Friend, Jesus persevered right through to His death on the cross. He did that with you and me in mind. Isn't it worth the honour to Him that we do the same, and get through this thing? He has already won the victory and put you in the place of the winner!
Hang in there, whatever it is. God is faithful!
Have a great week.
Erick.

When Hands Are Raised

 

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As a worship leader there is no greater satisfaction for me than to see hands raised in surrender and worship to the Lord.  The raising of hands in worship has at times and in different churches been somewhat controversial for all sorts of reasons; and most of them wrong.

Some would say it is showy and we should not make and outward show of our inward worship. A scripture used may be this from Matthew 6:18 :

" ...so that you do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. "

Sometimes our conservative culture is the reason we "exercise self control and show restraint in these matters"....

Jesus talked often about doing things in secret, but when it comes to corporate praise and worship, I believe it is a totally different thing. As the word suggests, Corporate is something we do together.

In my experience there are 3 main reasons why people raise their hands in church during worship (other than at the urging of the worship leader)

EXALTATION

The first is in jubilation and celebration.

Psalms 111:1 " Praise the Lord!
I will praise the Lord with my whole heart,
In the assembly of the upright and in the congregation."

With my whole heart. That would indicate with every effort I can muster.
The Hebrew word for praise here is 'Yadah' The translation for this word praise is: literally, to use (i.e. hold out) the hand; physically, to throw (a stone, an arrow) at or away; especially to revere or worship (with extended hands); "
In Psalm 150 we read these words:

"Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty firmament!
Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!
Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;
Praise Him with the lute and harp!
Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!"

The word for praise here is 'Halal ' (from which we derive the word hallelujah. Halal means praise, Yah is God. )
Halal means:  to make a show, to boast; and thus to be (clamorously) foolish; to rave; causatively, to celebrate; also to stultify: — (make) boast (self), celebrate, commend, (deal, make), fool(-ish, -ly), glory, give (light), be (make, feign self) mad (against), give in marriage, (sing, be worthy of) praise, rage, renowned," ...you get the idea.
When we praise God it involves an outward manifestation of joy, celebration and great noise, and the raising of hands...

ADORATION

The second reason we raise our hands is in Adoration. It is when we have such absolute love for our saviour, we just want to be closer to Him.
One of my favourite memories of when I was a young father of small children, is coming home from work in the afternoon. I would drive up our driveway and beep the horn. The next thing Tambrey would open the front door and all the kids would come piling out and run to the car to see who could get there fastest for me to pick them up. Those kids adored their father!
That's what it's  like:  when a small child raises its hands to its parent looking to be picked up, held and cuddled. It's very relational and intimate.  When I raise my hands to God in this way, it's like I want to be close to Him; to hug and love Him, to hear Him whisper in my ear: "I love you, son!"

Psalms 63:4. "Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name."
Psalms 134:2. "Lift up your hands in the sanctuary,
And bless the Lord."

SURRENDER

When you watch a war-time movie or a Wild Western, what is the term used when a surrender is forcibly demanded? "Stick 'em up! "; "Hands up". When the white flag of surrender is raised, and those that are surrendering have their hands raised as the "I give up" symbol.
The raising of hands is commonly associated with surrender. Christians who raise their hands will often do the same for the same reason, but with one difference: when I raise my hands in surrender to God, it's not because I have a gun at my head. My surrender to God in worship is out of love and total commitment.  I have a mental picture of surrender in which I am down on my knees, with my hands raised before a crucified Christ. I want to be surrendered to the One who surrendered everything for me and gave up His life so I could live... I surrender.

Exultation, Adoration, Surrender.
All three motivations for the raising of hands are voluntary responses. All three responses are motivated by love. When hands are raised, I see people connecting with God in an intimate, joyful, exuberant, surrendered display of affection and Worship.

Whether you choose to raise your hands or keep them by your side, is up to you. Whether someone else chooses to or not, should be their decision. Personally, when I am in a place of intimacy with God, I can't help but raise my hands.

Do you raise your hands?

Have a great week.
Erick.

Love God

 

We live in a "What's in it for me?"-world. Our decision making is based on "how does it make me feel?" We look to satisfy our needs, and as long as we are ok, well that's a good start.

As Christians, it seems our faith is often manipulated the same way. Our prayers are based on what we think is best for us and our situation, and our assessment of answered prayer on how it has benefited us. I'm not sure that this is correct thinking.

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The Greatest Commandment

When Jesus was challenged by the Pharisees with the question: "Which is the greatest commandment?" in Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind."

He added to this that second most important commandment was (vs39) :"love your neighbour as yourself". 

The response Jesus gave was not at all what the Pharisees expected, and it left their arguments dead in their tracks. 

See, I like to think that the Pharisees were looking at a legal-if you don’t do it you will go to hell- kind of greatest commandment, whereas Jesus was talking about the most awesome, lose out if you miss it- greatest benefit to those who live it-kind of commandment.

God-thinking turns World-thinking totally on its head. Sometimes embarrassingly so. God-thinking is so at odds with what society teaches and yet it works. Society says: "Look out for number one; if it feels good do it; you deserve this; pamper yourself; you will feel great if..." God wants us to be Christ-centred, others-focussed, totally selfless. He wants us to focus our love on Him.  Love God. 

 

What's in it for me?

This is one of the most selfish, self centred statements ever to pass the lips of men. The conditional premise of doing anything in the community of Christ is often perceived as "if I do this thing, I will get ...in return". 

Giving is the perfect example. Jesus said in Luke 6:38; "Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”

Most people I know (including me) have used this as the secret formula for wealth. I guess in a way it is, but not in the context that we would like it to be. Investing into the Kingdom of God is important. The question is: am I giving to get or am I giving to give?

We need to turn our thinking around and focus on our total motivation for anything we do in life:

I work and in return I get paid. I give to God of my time, talent and finances because I love Him. I know that He is not only able, but also true to His word in looking after me. My attitude to God is relational, one of faith and trust, not a business deal. We cannot out-give God, so don't try. Give out of relational response, because you love Him.

When I think of my relationship with God, I often compare it to my relationship with my own children. I am motivated by my love for them and respond to their relationship with me. When one of them comes to me with open arms and hugs me and tells me they love me, I just want to bless them. (What can I do for you, how can I bless you?) Their love for me invokes an even greater response of love back. I think in a way that this is how it is with God; we obey his commandments because we honour, love and respect our Heavenly Father and He in return blesses us with answered prayer, provision, peace and His presence. 

God’s love for us is manifest all around us. His promises of supply, protection, care, guidance and companionship, are littered generously throughout scripture.

Matthew 6:27-33

Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat? ’ or ‘What shall we drink? ’ or ‘What shall we wear? ’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

 

Surrender & Submission

Loving God is about surrender and submission. I like to think of it this way: When 2 armies are at war, and one surrenders to the other (white flag and all that stuff), normally it is the capturing victorious army that dictates the terms of the surrender. Funny thing about Christianity is we want to do all the surrendering on our own terms: “Well, God, I will give you these parts of my life, but I am going to hang on to this one...” That doesn’t work. Never has, never will. God wants total surrender, not a partial one. Why? Well, for starters, Jesus was willing to give everything He had and everything He was up for you and me. He set the standard of total surrender when He went to the cross. I really think in His own flesh He had some serious reservations about the whole suffering and dying thing. In the garden of Gethsemane He prayed: ... “Let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.”(Matt 26:39) But He was driven to total Surrender to God’s will by His total love for you and me! The other reason I believe God wants all of us in Surrender to Him is because only He knows the plans He has for us, “plans for good and not for evil, to give you a hope and a future” (Jer 29:11), and He can’t bring that to pass if He doesn’t have our total, confident, submitted trust.

2 Chronicles 15:2

“And he went out to meet Asa, and said to him: “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin. The Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you.”

When we walk away from God, we leave Him virtually powerless to work in our lives.  

I am realising more and more that relationship is the key to life. When I have great relationship with my wife, things go really well for us. When I focus on doing my own thing, and put her second, our relationship suffers. It is no different in Christianity. God longs for relationship with us. He is looking for ways to bless us. When we stop loving God to pursue other things, we stop His ability to bless. It is like cutting off the line of supply. We are not wired like that. God made us for relationship with Him. Love Him. Today!

Have a great week!

Erick.

BEING FULL OF GOD

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

Have you ever wondered what is to be truly full? I was in a prayer meeting on Sunday morning, and I got the overwhelming sense of God's presence. The word that kept coming to me was “Fullness”. As I meditated on that word, my mind was filled with pictures and scriptures pertaining to full.  

Full of God

I don't know about you, but I want God's best for my life. I know that when am close to God, He fills me with Him; not just that goose-bumpy feeling of warm fuzzies, but a true sense of the reality of His presence. I think clearer, I have a greater sense of where I am and where I am going, and a knowledge that as the hymn says: "it is well with my soul". 

The more of God I put into my life, the more He fills me. 

God wants us not just to experience but to live in the Fullness of Him. The word Fullness brings to mind all sorts of pictures. 

Psalm 16:11 says 

“You will show me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”  

Just read that promise a couple of times and be filled with the beauty of it.

This verse speaks of the promise of God; He shows us the path of life. 

It speaks of God's presence bringing pleasures and fullness of joy! And it speaks of forever! 

The Promise of Fullness

The Christian life can be full of hard times, heart ache, trials, and all the stuff we would rather not have in our lives, but the promise of God in John 16:33 is: “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

"In Me". 
When Jesus is in me and I am in Him, the promise of God is complete. 

Full is not almost or part. In God's economy, near enough is not good enough, and almost does not qualify as complete. When the Bible talks of full it always speaks of excess. God is an extravagant God.

Jesus gave us the instructions of how to live extravagantly and in God's economy: Luke 6:38: “Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” 

Here Jesus Himself teaches us of God's measure of economy. However what we often don't understand is the measure He speaks of. In Matthew 13:23, Jesus talks of the sowing and harvesting law. 100 , 60, 30 fold increase! God's economy of scale is extravagant; it is one of multiplication, pressed down, shaken together, full and running over! That speaks to me of being completely full. 

Malachi 3:10 says:  ”Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

Again this speaks to me of God's extravagance. When we believe in Him, when we trust Him with all we have, and when we fill ourselves with Him, he pours out His blessing beyond our capacity to contain it! 

Getting Full and Staying Full. 

How do I get this fullness and keep it? 

When I have a meal, I normally eat until I feel full. Sometimes I over- eat and then I feel over-full. But no matter how much I eat today, tomorrow I will want to eat again. I continually need to fill me up with food in the same way as I continually need to fill my car with fuel, or at least if I want to keep going places in it. The same is with God. I need to continually fill myself with God. I can't just go once and expect that that's enough. 

God is a supernatural God. That is beyond natural. That is full and overflowing. God is not the God of near enough is good enough. God is the God of enough and to spare. He talks of abundance, not of a lack! 

When a friend of mine purchased a car, he never washed it, maintained it or had it serviced. He would purchase a new car about every two to three years, because that is how long the old one would last. My Father in Law is almost OCD about his cars. He washes, polishes and vacuums them meticulously and often. His cars always look great, and when he goes to sell them, he inevitably gets top price for them. 

We need to maintain our spiritual bodies in the same way.  That means continually being filled up with God; Staying in tune with the Holy Spirit through giving ourselves to prayer, study of the word, fellowship with other like minded people and worshipping Him both privately and corporately. 

Be Filled

Are you full yet? Do you have a hunger to be filled? Being filled is a daily requirement.  When you fill yourself with God, He will fill you with Himself. Pressed down, shaken together full and running over will God pour into your bosom. 

If you want the fullness of God, be Fully Filled with God! 

Ephesians 3:19: (that you may) “know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

Ephesians 5:18: "Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit."

May you be filled with all the Fullness of God!

Have a great week! 

Erick. 

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What do you believe in?

I am becoming increasingly aware of the amount of religious material available to us in recent years.
When I say religious, I don't mean Christian; I mean things of every other religion on the world. Buddhist, Islam, New Age, eastern philosophies, the list goes on. All are being seen as "fashionable" , rather than religious as such.  I can't walk into a garden centre or landscape supplier without being bombarded with Buddhist statues and shrines, or down a weekend market without walking past a fortune teller or two, healing crystals, incense... It's all there!

 The Shrinking Church?

One would have to agree that if there is a supply it would follow that there is a demand.
And yet it appears that church attendance is waning especially in the western countries, and people are increasingly dissatisfied with what is "on offer" in the main stream churches today.
 It causes me to wonder: if churches are on the decrease because people are increasingly claiming to be Atheists (Denying the existence of God) or Agnostic (having no formal belief system or religion); and yet there is an increase of all the eastern and new-age religions, what do we really believe?
This also leads me to think that while people may say they are atheist or Agnostic, they still have a need to believe in something or someone higher than themselves.

The Need to Believe

I have heard it said that in each human being is created the need to search for its creator. We all have a "built-in God seeker" as it were. Some people choose to ignore it (atheism) others seek it out in human relationships, philosophies, religions of all types, etc. we all need to belong, be loved and be valued. This is how we are wired.
I am disturbed by the fact that people are leaving the church and the Christian faith in search for the Truth.   Jesus said: "I am the way, the Truth and the Life. No man comes to the Father but through me. " (John 14:6). Why are we leaving the truth in search for Him?
My thinking is that Christianity is not considered fashionable, in fact many people (especially young people) think it is definitely old-fashioned. They also see it as boring, and the "churches are just full of hypocrites". We are guilty of not showing people the Truth. In fact, we have made church a social organisation that is relevant only for a certain section of our community. An Anglican priest once told me about his church that it is fast becoming a boutique religion, suitable only for a dying group of people.  In other words, he was saying that he feared that the church has lost its relevance.
Now I want to be absolutely clear here that in no way do I believe that every church and church organisation is in decline and no longer relevant. There are some large churches that really are impacting our community and society in a very positive way, and making a real difference in people's lives.
Jesus said "You will know the Truth, and the Truth will make you free" (John 8:32).

Do you really know what you believe?

My challenge is that knowing what you believe is about studying it in intimate detail; seeking out the paths to better understanding what you believe.
I know my wife. I spend time with her, have conversations with her, hold her hand and kiss her, I listen to her (not often enough she says) and hear her thoughts, opinions, values, fears, and passions. Spending quality time with her makes me know her. Because I invest time in our relationship, I feel I truly do know her.
My concern is that as Christians, we do not spend enough quality time getting to know our saviour. We make no time for intimacy, and through a lack of this knowledge we actually miss out on God's amazing best for our lives.
If we don't know our Saviour, who also happens to be the creator of the universe, then how can we actually know what we believe?

Carnality has taken hold in the church.

I was talking to a dear friend and mentor about this recently, and she raised this subject with me as a great concern. As Christians, we are not separated anymore, she said, we have so much of the world in the church, it is difficult to differentiate us from the world. The result is that we just don't appeal to people who are looking for truth and belonging.
Romans 8:6 "For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
9 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His."
Here is a warning that what we have been rescued from, we are not to allow back into our lives.
Being separated from the world does not mean we are exclusive from the world, but that we set the standard that people should aspire to.
This means being above reproach! Christians should have greater levels of integrity than anyone else. Christians should know what our faith demands of us, and how the Holy Spirit helps us to achieve that.
Our faith is about relationship with the Creator of the Universe; the Saviour of humankind. We have the Answer living in us! If we really know what we believe, we know that!


I mentioned integrity. Sadly I think this is a quality that is missing in many Christians today. We just don’t walk the talk. I said before, we should be setting the standard. What was it that attracted early seekers to the church? They were different. The Bible says: “together they had all things in common.” Together. Unity. Blessing. There is great reward in intimate relationship with Jesus, but there is also a cost.

You can't give what you don't have.

 If you don't have it in you, you can't give it out.  What we believe should not only affect who we are, but also influence those we come in contact with us.  If I don't know what I believe, how can I share it with others; either verbally or by example?
This is an important question. However, a more pertinent question is: if you don't know what you believe, where will you spend eternity?
The last thing I want my God to say when I stand before Him is “Depart from Me, I never knew you”
Food for thought?


Have a great week!


Erick